Friday, November 18, 2011

Scuttling 'ships - N/G-S

I ship Nagini/Gryf-Sword.

Nagini and the Gryffindor Sword had a brief, sensual whirlwind christmas vacation romance (during Harry's second year) up until the Sword was pulled away by Harry in his hour of need against the Basilisk. But the Sword wasn't careful in this strange snake that it found itself thrusting into. And shortly thereafter, the Basilisk died. The Sword was wracked with guilt and remorse that not only had it caused the death of a relative of Nagini's line, but also that it had inadvertently cheated on it's lady-love (albeit at Harry's insistence - meddlesome boy!).
The years passed and the Gryffindor Sword kept itself apart from the it's magical artifact peers, locked in a glass trophy case in the Headmaster's office, never knowing yet always wondering what it's lady-love was up to.
When the Hogwarts Battle came, Nagini yearned to enter the castle proper and find her true love, but she had to obey her Master.
When the Sword was called upon by the 'Hero' Neville Longbottom, it could not believe it - there was it's lady-love. And in their desperation to be with each other again, they threw caution to the wind, and in that fateful moment, the Sword kissed it's lady-love and took it's next victim in that heartbeat.

Now? Now the Sword sits gathering dust, allowing nobody near to buff, shine and polish it. Allows nobody to clean off the stain of all that is left of it's lady-love. None come near but for the Sorting Hat and the last suit of armour, to drink to fallen friends, comrades, suits...and lost lady-loves.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Scuttling 'ships - RL/HG

Remus is old enough to be her father. Seeing as he is the same age as Harry's parents and Harry is a year younger than Hermione. If we ignore the age difference because apparently teacher/student relationships aren't squicky in the Wizarding World, or perhaps they're out of school or time travel is involved or SOMETHING relevant has occured...

Remus is on the Light side, a bookworm, prefect, Gryffindor and is close to Harry. These are about the only things he has in common with Hermione. In point of fact, he accepts his lot in life and doesn't attempt to fight for the rights of werewolves. However Hermione is always up in arms about S.P.E.W or muggleborn rights, or how it's totally barbaric to do any number of Wizarding things.

Now. Going off what we know of Hermione, she's had a schoolgirl crush on Gilderoy Lockhart, so we know she's somewhat shallow when it comes to what she wants in a man. Lupin in that regard is somewhat greying, balding and scarred from his stressful life as a werewolf, poor man. Anything beyond that where Hermione's interests are concerned are merely psycho babble and speculation, (due to the train-wreck of the Hermione/Ron 'ship) but what we do know is that she is attracted to beauty and/or idiocy. Neither of which Lupin portrays. Yet Krum did. And Ron did too, in eye-bleeding amounts. Also while figuring out that he is a werewolf we learn that she is intuitive to his secrets, of which he has many as we know very little of his life prior to the series and during it, for that matter. As a private person, one would think that Remus would not want people to pry into his personal life. He did not seem particularly happy that Hermione, a thirteen year old witch, figured him out after a few months (when Snape set the essay).

Going from what little we know of Lupin, he is a caring father, a family friend, a best friend and an excellent professor, though he did focus mostly on dangerous magical "Dark" creatures (as did Hagrid for that matter...) and not so much on spells. He is virtually penniless, a charity case of Dumbledore's, has no real qualifications due to being a werewolf, he's intelligent and quick thinking, loyal to a fault and follows rules - which we know Hermione does not.

Once one sands down this 'ship to it's bare boards, it shows this: These two are not compatible, but somebody, somewhere, thinks that having all one's Dark secrets ferreted out by somebody who is young enough to be one's daughter, is plausible grounds for a relationship... are you high?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Hotel Azkaban

Hotel Azkaban, a one star vacation for all your Dark Magic-user needs, stop over night and be treated to an 8 o'clock morning wake up call by whichever Dark Lord is on call at the time.

Rooms are a tad nippy, 4m x 4m, sparsely furnished with an onyx and granite decoration with metal finishing, they boast an ocean view of the North Sea.
Room service is slightly sub par, but at these prices quality isn't a given.

Notable guests to Hotel Azkaban include Sirius Black, mass murderer; Bellatrix Lestrange, insane right hand of the late Dark Lord Voldemort; Percival Dumbledore, blood purist and muggle baiter; Rubeus Hagrid, half giant and Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.

Come in and rest for a while and when you go we hope you leave behind many a good memory.

Hotel Azkaban. Here for Darkness. Here to stay.