Adam and Eve

Monday, Sep 8, 2008 - original posting

Whilst sitting in mine Youth group, and reading from the Holy Bible, I was distracted by several lines in Genesis about Adam and Eve. ((Consequently missed the discussion about the passages we were supposed to be reading ))

So, there's Eve, strolling through the Garden of Eden, she's been told by God she can eat from any tree but the Tree of Life and the Tree of Wisdom. ((If you haven't read the passage, you should.)) Now, apparently, in this Garden were vegetation of all different kinds as well as animals of all shapes and sizes. So, this Garden must have been pretty big to have living space for these things. For all we know, it might be a hidden island somewhere in the world...the Atlantis of the Bible per se.

There were vegetation of all kinds, so what kind of tree did Eve eat from to be convinced by a damned *TALKING* snake to eat from the forbidden tree of Wisdom? Was there some kind of hallucinogens like cannabis or something? Then she gives some to her husband, Adam, who also eats. What does God do when he discovers this has happened? He kills a random animal as a sacrifice to Himself...so that Adam and Eve can have no shame. Haven't Christians throughout the Ages claimed that sacrifice is a savage, pagan ritual? God, Himself, did this and commanded his people to do the same.

"Your desire will be for your husband," - Well no shit, sherlock...but guess what? Sexual immorality runs rampid through the veins and minds of many if not most of the world ((and lets not forget all those in history too...))

"and he will rule over you." - How's that for gender equality? The Holy Bible, records our God creating all humans as equal but then does something *extremely* sexist...why? Because they were deceived by that elusive talking snake...(( Adam and Eve are parselmouths!!!)) These people, the first humans, -did not- know right from wrong until eating from the Tree of Wisdom. How were they to have any inkling before hand to NOT eat from it??

Then there's also - "Because you listened to the woman ((funny...I thought Eve was his wife...isn't he supposed to listen??)) you shall also be punished." Woah, wait, Time Out *signals* what was the poor boy supposed to think, "She's giving me the full view of some apples she has there, oh and look, she's holding some fruit, lets take a look at that shall we? Hm, it looks like it came from that Forbidden Tree...so those are all Forbidden Fruits? It might be poisoned!" ...No, he was incapable of those little pearls of Wisdom...poison was probably not on his mind, judging by the fact that a naked woman was offering him fruit for crying out loud.

Hormones, sacrifice and sexism aside, how do we divine the parts of the bible that are false, contradictory and misleading from the passages that are the true Word of God?

---

Easy. None of it is real.

Case closed.