Saturday, August 1, 2009

On a side note: Suicide.

When you've reached the lowest of points in your life, with nobody to turn to, no friends, hatred in the eyes of everybody around you, every day. Your parents don't want anything to do with you, despise your presence in their clean, nice household, where you, the failure are a blemish, a taint, a despicable mark on their upstanding reputation, one that they can't scrub out, no matter how hard they try. When you have sat planning what differences you could have made, what your life should have been, your second chances and the faults of your ill-begotten life. All the problems that have plagued you - depression, cheating, lies, manipulation, attempted murder, rape, assault, the list of attacks against you going on and on, year after year, beginning all the way down in your youth. When you have drunk dry every bottle, every schnaps, every vodka, rum and cola - and finally, staring down the barrel of a gun against your mouth, temple, throat, heart... wondering why you can't pull the trigger? Its not cowardice that stops you, its bravery. Cowardice is running away from your problems, ending it, without giving you a chance to look back over your life, past the mistakes and falsehoods and see the truth, the opportunities that arose from an accident, new lessons from a mistake.

Cowardice is pulling the trigger. Bravery is dropping the gun

3 comments:

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  2. like yhe note on suicide pretty damn dark but holds alot of truth

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  3. That's very true, kiddo.

    It's good to hear that someone has seen it for what it is. Rather than everyone just going with the view of society on it.

    Suicide is very, very difficult.

    I'm going to keep that, if you don't mind. I have a cork board that has all my stuff on my depression, little tidbits to make me feel better & such. I'll pin it up there.

    Thank you.

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